Broken Bonds Page 10

  “Why would you be worried about that?” he asks. “I know about your leg. I’ve seen it. I’ve even seen you remove it. It really doesn’t bother me.”

  “But you haven’t seen me…naked without it,” I manage to force out. “It’s different in this kind of setting.”

  To my surprise, his lips curl up into a small smile and he chuckles. “Samantha, I promise you, I think you are wildly attractive, and your leg doesn’t and won’t deter me from thinking so. I don’t want you to worry about this.”

  The confidence in his words does help. I slowly release a breath and manage to nod.

  “Alright…if you say so. I trust you.”

  He takes one of my hands and brings it to his mouth to kiss my knuckles.

  “Good, now…can I please get into your pants?”

  A laugh bursts past my lips and I nod. “Yes, you absolutely may.”

  Grinning, he turns his focus back to the task of undressing me. He makes quick work of my pants and slowly rolls them down my hips before sliding them off my legs. I’m left lying before him with nothing but my panties and my prosthetic on.

  To my immense relief, the hunger in his gaze doesn’t change. If anything, it intensifies as he peruses my body, as though he’s trying to figure out where to start first. To my delight, he lowers his head and kisses a spot right above the waistline of my panties. His fingers hook into their sides and he drags them down my legs, and just like that, I’m totally naked.

  And I’m not embarrassed.

  It’s impossible to be when he’s looking at me as though I were Aphrodite. Under his steady gaze, I feel beautiful and wanted, which are things I’ve struggled with ever since I lost my leg. No matter how confident I present myself to be, no matter how at peace with my situation I seem, there’s always been a part of me that simply feels broken and undesirable.

  Aleixo drops to his knees and pushes my thighs apart. I let out a yelp of surprise at his sudden movements, but then the sound dissolves into a moan as he leans forward and begins to lick me. My fingers slide into his hair and I throw my head back as pleasure pours through me. Wow, he’s really good at this. In no time, I’m writhing on the bed, bouncing between whimpering Aleixo’s name and begging him not to stop.

  I could feel that pleasure begin to tighten in my belly, the pressure growing more and more intense until I could feel myself begin to climb to that much-desired peak and release. I grow desperate to get there.

  “Aleixo,” I murmur, “I’m getting so close…”

  I feel his grin against me and he begins feasting in earnest. I’m suddenly glad that we’re the only two in the whole facility, because I don’t think I could hold back my screams even if I wanted to. Just like that, he sends me rushing toward my orgasm, and I tip over into a blinding abyss. It feels as though electricity is shooting through my whole body as he draws out my release for a long moment. Its’s the most exquisite torment I’ve ever experienced, and even when it begins to feel like too much, I don’t want him to stop.

  When I’m left feeling limp and relaxed, Aleixo pushes to his feet. He stands over me, wrapping his fingers around the base of his erection and giving himself a few firm strokes before he reaches down and grabs my hips. I don’t resist as he picks me up and moves me further up the bed so my head is resting on the pillows. Once I’m situated, he climbs up onto the mattress and crawls up until he’s holding himself above me.

  Once more, he presses my legs apart and settles between them on his knees. He meets my gaze and holds it as something passes between us. Some connection that’s deeper than sex…deeper than anything I’ve ever felt with another person, in all honesty. How is that possible? How am I feeling this right now? This intense need for him that goes beyond this physical connection that we’re forging?

  I force the thoughts aside as they become too distracting. I’m likely just overly sensitive in this moment because we’re naked and vulnerable with each other, and we’re also the only person either of us has seen in weeks. There has to be some sort of strange bond that we have as a result. That has to be the reason for these strangely intense feelings going through me.

  Focusing back in on Aleixo and this moment, I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck.

  “Kiss me,” I gently order, wanting his lips on mine when he first enters me.

  With a small grin, he readily obliges, lowering his face and slanting his mouth over mine. As we kiss, he slowly begins to sink into me. I gasp against his lips and cling to him tighter.

  “Samantha…” he growls as he reaches the hilt. “You feel so good.”

  “Mmmm,” is all I can manage to get out. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone, but I can’t remember ever feeling so full or wanting so badly for someone to move within me. I wrap my legs around his waist and urge him on, not wishing for him to stop once he’s seated himself fully inside.

  He seems to realize what I want, because he slowly pulls himself back out and then pushes back more swiftly. I let out a cry and he does it again and again until he’s pumping in and out of me steadily, almost frantically. The room fills with the sounds of our bodies coming together and our moans and growls of pleasure. We don’t say a word…I don’t think either of us is capable of speech, really.

  His body feels so heavy and warm. Impossibly warm. It startles me when his body heat begins to spike, but then I remember what he is and realize that this must be a normal reaction for him. After a few moments, I find that I enjoy the warmth. It’s soothing and relaxes my body, which makes it easier for him to go faster and faster until I’m yelling his name over and over like a mantra.

  “Gods, Samantha,” he snarls in my ear. “I’m…I’m getting so close…”

  “Don’t stop,” I beg him, tightening my legs. “Please, don’t stop.”

  He buries his face against my neck, groaning as his hips piston hard for several more moments, and then…

  His roar of release against my throat vibrates through my body, pushing me over the edge again. I’m caught off-guard by my second orgasm, and I scream in shock and ecstasy.

  It’s several moments before we both settle back to earth together, clinging to each other as if we are each other’s anchors, keeping us from floating into space in the aftermath. We lay in silence, catching our breaths, and the moment feels just…perfect.

  It’s like something I didn’t realize I was missing in my life has suddenly clicked into place, and all is right with the world. Like Aleixo and I were meant to be like this together, in this moment.

  “Aleixo,” I murmur, feeling the exhaustion from the day start to settle over me.

  “Hmmm?” he replies, and I can hear sleepiness in his tone as well.

  “Why does it feel like home in your arms?”

  He tenses around me, his grip tightening, and for a second I worry that I’ve pushed him too far. At length, however, he slowly begins to relax again and I feel no small amount of relief.

  “I don’t know,” he replies softly. “But…you feel like home to me too.”

  My breath catches and I bury my face against his chest so he can’t see just how much his words have affected me. Whatever this is, it feels real and good and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found this man in this wintery wilderness. As we continue to hold each other and drift off to sleep together, I can’t help but smile. If I were one to believe in fate, I might think that Aleixo and I coming together was predestined.

  Aleixo

  When I wake, there’s something warm and soft splayed across my chest. For a moment, I’m confused and don’t know where I am. The room looks like mine, but it’s just a little…off. It’s in that moment that everything comes back to me from the night before. My eyes widen and I gaze down in disbelief to find Samantha asleep on top of me. Her hair is loose and flowing down her back, and her face looks so serene as light puffs of air escape her lips.

  I tense, waiting for any regret or fear to seize me…but neither does. To my
surprise, I don’t feel the immediate urge to extract myself from her and run out the bedroom door. In fact, I’m rather content laying there with her sleeping so peacefully on me. It feels very domestic. Very intimate. Is it because of the bond that I’m so comfortable like this with her? Perhaps. But perhaps that’s not a bad thing.

  Maybe the mating bond isn’t the curse I always thought it to be. Especially if it makes moments like these possible.

  I gaze down at her for a few more moments and am overwhelmed with the urge to do something for her. Anything. I have this instinct to provide for her in some way and to make her smile. What can I do? My options are a bit limited given our location, but even something small just to make her happy would be enough for me.

  The idea of getting her breakfast in bed pops into my mind, and I latch onto it, thinking it’s brilliant. I’ll go to the kitchen and bring back a bowl of her favorite cereal, along with a cup of coffee. Simple, but I know it’ll make her smile to wake up to it.

  Decided, I very carefully begin to free myself from her hold. I don’t want to wake her, so I make sure to move her slowly and gently, giving myself just enough room to slip out of the bed. Standing, I search for my clothes and quickly get dressed. I move to leave, and as I cross the room to her door, I pass her desk. My eyes move over the books and papers strewn on its surface without intention, more as a reflex. The title of one article printed on a piece of paper stands out to me, however, and I stop in my tracks.

  Frowning, I move closer to the desk and snatch up the paper to look at it more closely.

  The Legend of the Phoenix: The Real-Life Inspiration Behind the Myth

  What the hell? Why does Samantha have an article about phoenixes? I turn my gaze from the paper to the rest of her materials and to my complete shock, see that most of what she has laid out here is research about phoenixes. Most of what I can see has to do with the legends surrounding us, with some focusing primarily on the myths’ origins, but some papers have writings about specific aspects phoenixes are supposed to be known to possess.

  What’s worse than the books and articles themselves, however, are the notes. She has notes scribbled everywhere. On the papers, in the margins of the books, on sticky pads…every piece of research is littered with her handwriting in some way. I read her notes carefully and feel a sickening twist in my stomach. She’s highlighting things and making connections to her research, which I quickly realize has to do with human regeneration.

  The world seems to tip beneath my feet, and for a second I think I might really lose my balance and fall over. This can’t be real. This has to be a nightmare. The pain in my heart tells me it’s very real, however, and I suspect that Samantha has betrayed me. Used me, somehow, for her own gains. My fingers clench and I crush the paper in my hand.

  “Aleixo? What are you doing?”

  Her soft, sleep-filled voice washes over me and for a moment, my rage melts away. I want to go back to her bed and hold her and forget I ever saw any of this. But I can’t. I know I can’t, and as I gaze down at the evidence of her treachery, the anger bubbles up within me and burns away those tender feelings like fire burns up kindle.

  I round on her and wave the fist I still have clenched around her paper.

  “What the hell is this?” I demand to know.

  She frowns at me and sits up. The sheet drops to her waist, revealing her bare breasts which tempt me to distraction, but I resist. Her face is still soft from sleep and I can tell that she’s struggling to catch up with what exactly is going on. I see the exact moment realization hits her. Her eyes go wide and her face pales.

  “Oh…oh, Aleixo, that’s not what you think it is…”

  “What do I think it is?” I hiss. “Huh? Tell me, then tell me why the hell you have all this information on phoenixes. Were you just using me this whole time?”

  She frantically shakes her head. “No! No, of course not. I swear, Aleixo, I didn’t know what you were until you rescued me from the that ravine.”

  “Liar,” I snap, crumpling up the paper and tossing it away. “You’re a damn liar! This isn’t a coincidence. It can’t be! What were you hoping to achieve? To trick me into trusting you so that I’d let you experiment on me? Is that it?”

  “What? No!” she exclaims. She grabs the sheet and clutches it to her chest as she hurries to crawl out of the bed. When she’s standing in front of me, she gazes up at me imploringly and says, “I would never do that to you, I swear!”

  “Why should I believe you?” I growl. “Why should I believe a single word you’ve said to me since we met? You’ve hidden so much as it is. Your research, your interest in phoenixes, your leg…”

  She jerks back as if I’ve struck her, her expression stricken. I realize too late that I’ve crossed a line mentioning her leg, but I’m so furious, I can’t think straight. Her eyes narrow and she glares at me as her gaze turns wet and glassy.

  “I kept my research from you, because that was our agreement,” she sharply replies, though I can hear the emotion in her voice. It makes me feel like a huge asshole, but I hold onto my own anger at her and what she’s been trying to do to me. “I kept my interest in phoenixes from you because I didn’t think it mattered, and I kept my leg a secret from you because it was none of your damn business!”

  I take a step back at her vehement tone, then grit my teeth and snarl, “That’s what your research is for though, right? Why you’re studying those birds and why you’re so fascinated with my kind. You want to find a way to grow your leg back, don’t you?” I don’t know why I’m saying these things, because she is absolutely right. It isn’t my business. Or is it? If that’s why she’s been trying to get close to me, then don’t I have a right to know?

  “I want to find a way to help people who’ve lost a piece of themselves,” she shoots back. “I want to help people feel whole again.”

  “By using me and my kind!” I bellow. This is why I’ve kept myself away from humans for so long. Why I haven’t revealed what I am for years. Humans are greedy and opportunistic. I’ve seen it countless times throughout my life, and I’d been a fool to think you would be any different.

  It’s the damn bond. It’s made me blind to what she really is. If it weren’t for this connection, which I never asked for, I’d have seen through her lies by now. I wouldn’t have let myself get so close to her. I wouldn’t have let myself fall into bed with her.

  Once more, the mating bond has done me far more harm than it ever could good.

  I should have broken the bond the moment I felt it emerging. It’s not too late, though. I can still free myself from this…from her.

  “I wasn’t using you!” she insists. “Why won’t you believe me? What can I do to prove it to you?”

  The way she’s staring at me…the seemingly pure desperation in her eyes…I can almost believe she’s being sincere. A part of me wants so badly to believe it that I can feel my resolve begin to slip ever so slightly. I resist the urge to give in, though. History has shown me that humans can’t be trusted. It’s a tragedy I’ve watched play out again and again throughout my long life. To think Samantha would somehow be above that is ludicrous.

  I have to get out of here. I have to break this damn bond before it makes me stupid for her again. She’s still staring at me, waiting for a reply, but there isn’t one. There’s nothing she can do. The sooner I break her hold on me, the better. Turning, I storm toward the door.

  “Aleixo! Wait!” she calls after me, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop. If I do, I know I won’t be able to resist her pull. I keep my gaze ahead of me and ignore her pleas to return as I throw open her door and walk out without slowing.

  I keep walking past my own room and away from the dormitories. Making my way through the facility, I briefly wonder if she’s going to follow me. Is there a part of me that’s even hoping for that? Gods, what a mess this is. This feels so much more complex than when I was with my first mate. With her, though we were bonded, I still knew that I hated her.
I don’t hate Samantha…or, I didn’t. I’m not sure now. Regardless, there’s a reluctance inside me to break the bond that wasn’t there with my first mate. I was eager to be rid of her memories haunting me when I didn’t want them. As I near my lab, knowing what it is I’m about to do…I’m not quite so sure as I was the first time. Still, I know it has to be done. I can’t live like this. Not again.

  I make it to my lab and hurry inside, shutting the door and locking it behind me. I lean my back against the cool steel of the door and let out a long sigh. I feel so heavy…weighed down by everything I’ve discovered about Samantha. It’s just not fair. For a moment, I thought that there could be something real there…something beyond the bond.

  But nothing is real when it comes to the bond. There are no choices. There isn’t the ability to say no, and without that, how can anything that happens between us be real?

  That thought makes me nauseas, especially when I think about last night, and then this morning when I held her as she slept. I wanted that to be real so badly…but it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.

  With that sobering thought, I make my way across the lab toward the safe. Opening it, I pull out the tray with all the vials of my bond-breaking potion and carry them to my worktable. Setting the tray down, I brace my hands on either side of it and stare at it for long moments. That reluctance only grows and I have to remind myself of what Samantha has done. I can’t trust her. Especially not with the bond blinding me to her and only letting me see what I want to see.

  My hand is shaking slightly when I reach out to pick up one of the vials. I hate that my whole body seems to be reacting so poorly to this decision. It’s for the best, after all. I can’t be bonded to Samantha. I don’t want to be bonded to her, or to anybody. That’s what I keep telling myself as I uncork the vial and bring it to my lips.

  I pause before I can tip the contents of the vial into my mouth. That hesitation is rearing its ugly head again, freezing my arm and keeping me from drinking the potion, even though rationally I know I have to. Why am I hesitating, though? Why can’t I seem to just drink the damn thing?